Ten Workplace Skills I Learned Being a SAHM

Lately I've been thinking that I might need to get a job. Yes, I know what I'm doing now, raising kids, is a job. I'm talking about a job that pays in money instead of in grey hairs and happy memories and a job that requires you to leave the house without an entourage of small children. These thoughts began about the same time school ended two weeks ago; coincidentally, I'm sure. It was also around the time that we were all enjoying a summer evening, playing whiffle ball in the backyard. The Girl ran up to me, excitedly:

Girl: Mom, I can switch hit! Daddy says I'm a natural!

Me: That's great. I wish I could do that.

Girl: Why?

Me: I don't know. I think it sounds like a cool thing to be able to do.

Girl: Do you think it could help you with your sweeping?

It irks me that my kids don't think I am qualified to do anything but fetch snacks, wipe noses, go shopping, and clean. If you think I'm exaggerating, I have visual proof:

The kids in the Boy's pre-K class were asked what their mothers
liked to do. Obviously, I love to vacuum!

I have to admit that I do look happy in the picture. Of course, I'm also missing a nose, an arm, and feet, so accuracy isn't its strong point.

More recently, the Baby was asked all about me for Mother's Night at her school:

BTW, my eyes are actually blue. She might have noticed if I hadn't
spent so much time at the grocery store and Target. I also totally wish
that I could fly, especially in Atlanta traffic.

Clearly, this is not an ideal time to think about reentering the workforce. No one is hiring lawyers who have just graduated from law school and actually know law-type stuff, so what chance does this give someone like me who hasn't practiced law in eight years? I'm pretty sure my experience as a room mom and frivolity blogger isn't going to do much to boost my credentials. The irony is that if I went back to work, I would be a far better employee now than I was before I had children because having kids has taught me so many skills that would be useful at a job. I've made a list...