McCwrap

McDonald's got some free publicity last week when Charles Ramsey, the hero who helped free three kidnapped women in Cleveland, mentioned the restaurant multiple times in interviews. Ramsey was eating a McDonald's lunch when he heard Amanda Berry screaming and ran to help her while possibly still clutching a half-eaten Big Mac in his hand. I think McDonald's could use the boost because this is the sign at my neighborhood McDonald's:

First of all, "Cwrap" is a decidedly bad nickname for their new Chicken Wrap sandwich. Just say, "I'm going to McDonald's to get a Cwrap," under your breath and you'll see what I mean. Better yet, say, "Oh, no, I'll pass on the McNuggets and just take a Cwrap." Not good. I think the sanctioned nickname is the McWrap Sandwich, in the great McDonald's tradition of adding "Mc" to everything. I'm pretty sure that in Israel, the McDonald's sells McGifilte fish.

Our McDonald's decided it could at least make the Cwap sound fancy by calling it premium, only you can see that the sign actually says premuimm.

Womp, Womp, Womp

Nothing like having your spelling mistake in gigantic letters on the busiest corner in Decatur. Somehow it seems fitting to mention that the Girl was a finalist in the third grade spelling bee, but got out by misspelling, "biting." You can see an example of her spelling prowess in yesterday's post. I would have demanded the word be used in a sentence and hopefully that sentence would be, "I am biting this delicious Cwrap." Yummy!

Other Cwrap marketing techniques in my area include this:

I seriously hope that no one from USAA auto insurance reads
my blog and sees how many photos I've taken from my car.
At red  lights! I promise!

That's a guy dressed up as Cwrap. Because appealing to the cannibalistic nature of humans is always a good food sales technique.

Whenever I see someone dressed like food I think of this guy:

This stalk of broccoli in a  lab coat is a
Kaiser-Permanente mascot. The Boy had an anxiety attack
during a kindergarten field trip when he showed up.  

When all else fails, hire a supermodel to advertise your food for you. Because when I think about a supermodel, I think about a woman who knows food. Food expert = Supermodel, no? I mean, remember Fashion Cafe? Well, apparently neither does McDonald's, because:

This is a picture of Heidi Klum in a Munich McDonald's promoting the Cwrap. I think it's notable that she isn't actually consuming the Cwrap.

Tip to McDonald's Corporate: Replace Heidi Klum with Charles Ramsey because he actually eats McDonald's.
Tip to McDonald's Franchise in Decatur: Find someone to proofread your marquee sign. I'd apply for the job, but I'm a rotten speller. However, I can give you the name of the Clairemont Elementary Third Grade Spelling Bee champion.