Cast of Characters

The K - An illusive, secretive creature who roams the streets of Atlanta late at night in search of scotch and nachos. He is most easily identified by his collection of novelty t-shirts and his loping gait. During August and November he may be spotted being attacked by large groups of screaming children.

The K in the woods
 The Girl - My oldest daughter and de facto leader of the children. When she's not playing soccer, basketball, tap dancing, and guilting me into New Year's resolutions that involve running, she can be found stockpiling arms and styling produce.

The Girl

The Boy - If you want to know which countries border Latvia, he's your man. If you want to know the difference between toilet paper and paper towels, not so much. The Boy enjoys baseball, soccer, basketball, the tackling and interceptions aspects of football, palindromes, reptiles, geography, and telling jokes. He does not enjoy people in costume, dogs, fire drills, jokes played on him, and cities.

The Boy

The Baby - A.k.a the Little Dictator because she will tell you exactly what she wants and woe is he who denies her desires. Her current aspirations are to be "big" and to rule the universe. In her downtime she plays soccer, does ballet, and refuses to go to bed.

The Baby
Audrey the Moose - The Baby's imaginary friend who gets blamed for all the Baby's mischief-making. Rub fabric paint all over the rug? Audrey did it! Scribble on your door in crayon? Audrey, again! Groom the American Girl Doll horse with toothpaste? That darn moose!

Audrey moose-ified
Little Mommy Doctor Mommy - The Baby's new doll. Worst case scenario is that she may be possessed (her forehead glows) and a junkie.  Best case scenario is that she's a kvetch and a hypochondriac. She is my arch nemesis.

LMDM and Pusher Elf