Soccer Match Predictor

I'm sure that some of you, like me, will be attending your kids' soccer matches this weekend. I've discovered that sometimes all you have to do is observe the opposing team and their fans to figure out how a game is going to turn out. I've prepared a test that predicts for you whether it's going to be consolation Powerades at QT or celebratory ice creams at DQ. Answer the questions and check your score at the end of the quiz.

1.  Goalkeeper

The opposing goalkeeper is warming up before the game. +1
The opposing goalkeeper is warming up before the game and has tattoos and visible facial hair (male or female). +2
The opposing goalkeeper is warming up before the game and looks like this:

+10

May Madness

Literally Dozens of Loyal Readers: Where have you been? Where are these tips that you promised? We're waiting and we're a little disappointed in you.

Me: I'm so sorry. I know that the last you heard of me I was revealing the source of senior citizen vibrators and then I vanished off the face of the earth. The end of the school year and sports season hit last weekend with special intensity. Let's just say that you know that you're busy when you don't even have time to complain about how busy you are on Facebook.

Let me tell you about about my Sophie's Choice (writ much smaller and less dramatic) for last Saturday morning. The Girl had a soccer tournament about an hour away, with games on Saturday at 8 and 12:30. The Boy had a playoff game for baseball at 9 and the Baby had her ballet recital also at 9. The K coaches the Boy's team, so he had an easy time picking the baseball game. That left me with deciding whether I should force the Girl to drive to the tournament with a teammate or miss the Baby's first big girl dance recital. Tip: If you have to choose one child to disappoint, pick the one least likely to remember. So, Mom took the Baby to her recital.

They are measured for their costumes at the beginning of the year and she's grown two inches and gained five pounds since then, so that tutu is basically a very cute tourniquet.

Weekend Happenings

We had some big goings-on this weekend and we're still limping along trying to recover. I think this probably makes me a bad mom because I should just let everyone rest over the weekend so that they'll be fresh and peppy and ready to learn on Monday, but instead they're all worn ragged and I'm dragging them out of bed ten minutes before they have to be at school. It's hard, though, to strike the balance on the weekends between downtime and activities. If I don't plan enough, they all complain about being bored and we all know boredom is the devil's playground. Also, Devil's Playground is a documentary about Amish kids during rumspringa:

Is it just me, or do all Amish girls look like Martha Plimpton?