A to Zzzzzzzzz

One of the perks of growing up in New Jersey is that when I took the Princeton Review SAT prep course, my teacher really went to Princeton. One night he came the class with a coffee so big that Mayor Bloomberg would slap it out of his hands and looking a little bit like he'd taken a shower fully clothed and then air-dried. He told us with darting eyes and nervous laughter that he'd been awake for three days studying for exams and that people once you'd been deprived of sleep for three days you were considered to be clinically insane. He then proceeded to teach us about analogies.

I'm pretty sure that my teacher was wrong (or else all medical students are insane) but I think about his assertion every time I have a particularly bad night of sleep. So, last night I went to bed around 10:45, leaving the K to watch Duck Dynasty and fall asleep on the couch. At some point the K came to bed, a fact of which I became aware when the sound of little feet in the room woke me up. It was the Baby.

Me: What's going on?
Baby: My woom is weally, weally dark, so I woke up.
Me: It's night. It's supposed to be dark.
Baby: But, it's scawy.
The K: I'll take you back upstairs.
Me: You have to get rest for your Easter egg hunt at school tomorrow. (I checked the clock; it was 2:13) Today. Whatever.

The K took her back to her room and came back to bed. I went back to sleep. At 5:15 the K's watch alarm went off. He turned it off in his sleep. At 5:30 the K's second alarm went off. He turned it off in his sleep. At 5:45 his third alarm went off. He shut it off and started snoring. I momentarily considered smothering him with a pillow, but decided against it. I cleared my throat and elbowed him in the side.

The K: What?
Me: You're snoring.
The K: Sorry.
Me: Do you have any more alarms set?
The K: No. I...
He was asleep before he even finished talking. Asshole. I lay in bed debating whether I should get up. I debated for so long that by the time I decided to stay in bed and sleep, my alarm went off. Curses!