Weekend By the Numbers

1090 - Calories in the Taco Mac kids corn puppies consumed by the Boy on Friday night. 

0 - Actual puppies in the Taco Mac kids corn puppies (probably).

3 - Stuffed animals the Boy won playing the claw grab-it game at Taco Mac.

9 - Dollars spent on the claw grab-it game before "winning" the stuffed animals.

7 - The probable age of the child laborer who made the stuffed animals.

19 - Hours before one of the stuffed animals needed to have its stitched nose surgically replaced by a button.

9 - Hours of I slept on Friday night.

8.75 - Hours per night that a world class athlete sleeps.

23 - Hours per week that a world class athlete trains.

6 - Hours per week that I drag my tired ass out of bed to jump around our family room while Jillian or Jackie or Amy yells at me so that I can continue to stuff myself with Nutella each day.

Funny Friday

Okay, I would like to confirm that my snake post on Monday was an April Fool's Day joke. My apologies to Dad, the K, and all my neighbors who (at least briefly) thought that we were infested with copperheads. I hope everyone realized it was a joke before Petsmart had a run on mongooses (yes, that is the plural form of mongoose).

Mongoose posse.

Poor the K. I have been playing April Fool's Day jokes on him for almost 15 years, and this was my most successful one since the tiger joke of 2000. We were living in Birmingham, and I told him that I had been walking past Mountain Brook Village when there was some major commotion because a tiger had escaped from the Birmingham Zoo and was marauding around the Western Supermarket parking lot, terrifying the shoppers. He.Totally.Bought.It. This story is funnier if you've been to Mountain Brook Village, which is very fancy...think Princeton or maybe Short Hills Mall, if you're from New Jersey. I kept embellishing the story more and more, describing the people crouched behind the dumpster, hiding from the tiger and animal control officials trying to shoot the tiger with tranquilizer darts. Finally, when I told him that the tiger seemed to be concentrating its attack on the Alabama fans, he figured out that it was a joke.

Get it? Auburn's mascot is a tiger, so of course the tiger
would go after the Alabama fans.