Friday, March 22, 2013

Funny Friday

March Madness has just gotten underway and I'll be pulling for Ole Miss, since Rutgers failed to get into the NCAA tournament for the 22nd year in a row. Things were easier for Rutgers back in 1767 when it was guaranteed a spot in the Elite Eight because it was one of the only eight colleges in the United States. Those were the good old days. Sure, the tri-cornered hats made it hard to see the basket. And sure, balls made of deerskin stuffed with hair were hard to dribble, but Rutgers was in the hunt! This week's Funny Friday is all about March Madness, but yet has very little to do with sports. Example:

To me the pattern is vaguely reminiscent of pants a certain type of New Jersey guy wore to the gym in the early 1990s. Oh, yes:

Bless you, Adidas for bringing back that pattern.

Alternative Brackets

For those of us (err, me) who might not be so interested in watching hours and hours and hours of basketball between colleges we didn't know existed (FGCU, anyone?), there are some interesting alternative March Madness brackets. Jezebel is running an 80s vs. 90s tournament and first round voting has already started. New Coke is taking on Cocaine in the 80s division and it's East Coast - West Coast Rap Wars vs. Saddam Hussein in the 90s division.

Another alt tournament to check out is the Southern Food Bracket in Garden & Gun. Northerners pick your jaws up off the floor, this is a real magazine. It's like the south's version of Town & Country and we happen to subscribe. How else can I keep up with the latest in artisanal bourbon?? Here is a picture of the sweets division of the bracket:

Krispy Kreme vs. Cow Tales Candy? Clearly KK is a 1 seed versus CTC as a 16 seed.

On the other end of the spectrum is this bracket that pits NPR radio shows against each other.

The host of Bullseye made up these tournament brackets, hence the ginormous self-promotion in the middle of the bracket. Modestly, he picks himself to win in the final over Car Talk. Even though I've never heard of Bullseye, I doubt he can get past that perennial powerhouse, Terry Gross and Fresh Air.

Mad Men

Thank goodness I was on the US Magazine website at 10:30 last night or I would have missed this article about Jon Hamm's penis and what a tragedy that would have been! Just the title of the article should be enough to give you the gist of the content, "Jon Hamm Asked to Wear Underwear Due to 'Tight' Mad Men Pants." The article quotes a show insider who said, "Jon's impressive anatomy is so distracting that they politely insisted on underwear." I don't know about you, but I'm impressed. What about you, Jon's Mad Men co-star, January Jones?

It's okay, January. I feel certain that I would fall asleep during a fashion show, too. Unless it involved Jon Hamm modeling tight pants.

March Goes in Like a Lion...

Pictures of shamed and cranky cats rule the Internet, so I couldn't resist an oldie, but goodie. The cat's owner requested a "line cut" for her pet. The cat was returned to her like this:

Oh, I thought you said lion cut.

Guys, it's the tail that kills me. It's like one of those tassels that you'd buy at a fabric store to hang on your fancy drapes, only it's the cat's tail. That cat looks sooooo pissed.

Mad Fans

March Madness wouldn't be so mad without crazy, devoted fans. Between Duke and Kentucky, I'm pretty sure that there is a springtime shortage of cobalt blue body paint. In some ways, they really aren't that different from bronies. Just in case you are not aware, these folks are adult fans of the television show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Even though the term is gender-neutral, it usually refers to male fans of the show. Here's a picture of a brony:

Apparently the Dragoncon people are not as accepting as one would hope, and the bronies organized their own convention: Bronycon, obvs. So, look, I'm all for people having hobbies and I understand the desire to escape from reality, and even that people want to dress up as characters from Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings. But, this is just different, because, well, it's a television show for little girls, right? I've even actually seen MLP:FiM (as the bronies refer to it) and let me tell you, IMO it's no Fetch! With Ruff Ruffman. In fact, I'm not sure it even reached Calliou standards. But yet it inspires the likes of this:

I tried to find out which unicorn pony wears a boater hat without success.

I guess it's harmless enough, but I think I'd omit "brony" on my resume under "Interests" until it gains more widespread acceptance. At least until spellcheck thinks it's actually a thing.

Sporting Attire

When I lived in Birmingham, I drove by a cemetery on the day of the Iron Bowl and saw a group of Alabama fans, sitting in lawn chairs, with a huge blanket laden with food spread out on the ground, and a radio propped up on one of the gravestones. I assumed that they had gathered at the cemetery to enjoy the game with a friend or family member who had passed away. It may be one of my favorite things I've ever seen.

So, you can show your devoted to your team in all of life's milestones. How about one of these as a wedding dress: 

What do you all think? If you have a basketball wedding, you can have these centerpieces:

And here's your cake:

and here's a picture of of the nuptials:

Oh, crap! My bad. That's a Shrek-themed wedding. Bet you there were some bronies in attendance at that event. People are so creative. My wedding theme, wedding. Of course, if I could do it all again it would totally either be Disney princess themed:

or zombie apocalypse themed:

Fan Signs

 Sometimes games are so boring, you have to amuse yourself by watching the fans. Some of them can be pretty clever:

An allusion to Michael Vick's legal problems

Speaking of Alabama fans...

But at least it's warm?
Hockey fans apparently dig jokes about menstruation.
Who'd a thunk it?

At least these spectators were seeking recognition. Sometimes fans are just minding their own business, eating their over-priced snacks and become famous:

Girl, I know you're dreaming of an Indiana Pacers-themed wedding, but I'm not sure things are going to work out with this one. Any guy who won't give you a tiny bite of his gigantic ice cream cone is hiding other issues, IMO. But, who knows the backstory? Maybe she made him promise to not let her eat ice cream because she's on the paleo diet, so he's just following her orders. Darn you, Internet! Judging complete strangers just keeps getting harder and harder.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

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