If you act now, I will throw in 27 vials of Albuterol at no extra charge. That's right. You will get a case of viral pneumonia and Albuterol all for free! As a bonus, I will throw in this certified, pre-owned nebulizer and chicken-dinosaur mask.
Don't tell me that your little one wouldn't look adorable wearing a chicken-dinosaur mask that forces vaporized drugs into his lungs. What child doesn't look adorable with this on his face:
|Ugga-Mugga little chicken-asaurus.|
and the next minute she'll be like this:
and like this:
and you'll be gently reminding her that she has pneumonia and the doctor told her to rest for fuck's sake. And she'll be explaining to you that she feels great, great, great with her wild pinwheel eyes darting, and speaking at a speed rivaled only by the guy who reads the legal disclaimers at the end of radio commercials.
DO NOT MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY! Albuterol has this effect on all God's creatures. Here is Hello Kitty getting a breathing treatment:
and here's Hello Kitty/Hell Kitty after only one breathing treatment:
Act now, and I will throw in that Hello Kitty doll which was originally purchased to keep someone from screaming at Costco. Bribery? Yes. Bad parenting? Probably. Worth every penny at the time? You betcha.
All of this for FREE! Act now! This offer for a one-of-a-kind case of viral pneumonia AND the Albuterol AND the Nebulizer AND the Hello Kitty doll will not last long.